The poorly plastered bullet holes in the walls and the faded chalk outlines on the stained floor testified that this was not the safest of safe houses and imparted little confidence to those hiding there. Even if the Chief of Police promised his boys would try harder next time. The scent of Pine-Sol permeated the place, as if the sins of those slain there could be washed away with a household product.
Like Julio César Chávez battling Meldrick Taylor, the waves pounded the shore outside a cozy beach home.
Not that Mama Snow meant to pester, per se, but she enjoyed having children. Motherhood defined her as a person, so she wished the same joys for [her daughter] Cindy too. And perhaps, a vengeful part of her wished her daughter would have as feisty a child as she had been.
Brad furrowed his brow further. “How long was I out?”
[Cindy]: “Since yesterday.” She thought about the bizarre talking-in-his-sleep, or in his case, talking-in-his-coma incident. “Or less.”
Brad ran his fingers through her curly hair. She cooed.
He sighed. “Oh, good. People who are out longer than that often suffer weird side effects.” Brad remembered his high school gym teacher who demonstrated rope-climbing with so much exuberance, that he conked his head on the support beam and fell to the mat twenty feet below. After that, coach Otis spoke with a Ukrainian accent, even though he was Dutch. Plus, on Wednesdays, he wore his athletic supporter on the outside of his gym shorts. And sometimes on his head. Which was why, mostly behind his back, people called him “Coach Cup Head”.
Lying on his sofa at home, Brad watched a scary shark movie: “Shark Apocalypse 6: The Last Hoorah”, the timeless tale of a tour boat full of cheerleaders becoming shipwrecked on a sinking volcanic island surrounded by mutated gigantic sharks. Titillating fun, to be sure, but not nearly as entertaining as “Shark Apocalypse 4: All Sales Final”, where, due to a tsunami and other cinematic contrivances, monster sharks wreaked havoc in a flooded shopping mall, forcing scantily-clad sorority girls to fend for their lives.
[Brad]: “You hated me being empty-headed; and now I’ve got a convention in here.”
Brad opened his eyes, gawked at the disheveled man before him. Too clean to be a beggar. Too unkempt to be a cop. And too vertical to be a junkee. “I’m no angel. Who are you?”
[Rusty]: “I’m no angel either. But I carry a badge.”
Brad gulped. Not those guys again. How did this one get away without having to follow the basic rules of grooming and hygiene? “Thought of another joke, after you threw me out?”
[Rusty]: “I didn’t throw you out. I’m crazy enough to believe you.” Rusty held out his hand.
Brad glowered at Rusty’s hand. “If only I were crazy enough to believe you, we’d have it made.” Unkempt or not, he didn’t trust cops.
Archie moved closer along the bar, wiping like the Karate Kid waxing on and waxing off. Squeak-squeak. Squeak-squeak.
Rusty smiled an un-reassuring smile. “Don’t fret Blondie, you’re not crazy. But the voices in your head are.”
[Brad]: “I’m haunted?!”
Rusty dragged Brad to the door. “You’re so haunted, you could be a Disney ride.”
Norm was like that. Always finding the silver foam lining in a dark cloud of beer.
“Hey, Benny.” Jerry asked, “Where’s your gun?”
“Shut up!”
“That’s coming out of your pay.”
“I said, ‘Shut up!’”
“Whatcha gonna do Benny? Shoot me? Ya’ don’t got no gun.”
[Rusty]: “Cheer up. You don’t look that stupid.”
Brad pounded the dashboard. “I don’t look stupid at all!”
[Rusty]: “Why do you suddenly make my ex-wife seem emotionally sound?” Although he and Sheila hadn’t finalized their divorce proceedings, he didn’t believe they could reconcile, so he already considered her his ex-wife.
[Brad]: “You wouldn’t understand, Tin-Man.”
Rusty laughed. “There’s not a super power in the world that can save you from love.”
Brad blushed. Love was the ultimate kryptonite.
Disobeying Rusty’s orders, Brad stuck his head out the door. “Don’t get ice from the machine here. I need frozen spring water.”
[Rusty]: “I’ll fetch organic, fresh-squeezed, twice-filtered, rain water from a spring surrounded by aloe plants and daffodils.”
[Brad]: “Don’t sweat the daffodils. Although aloe sounds cool.” Brad shut the door and closed the faded floral curtains.
Those are just some of my favorite quotes. Some of my others would give away key plot points. And others were too good to give away!
